Freewrite: Desparado

Sooooo…I wanted to try something different. Today I listened to a song and tried to recreate the tone of the song in a piece of writing. The song that inspired this freewrite is called “Desparado by Azaelia Banks”. It’s an interesting song and I wanted to be pushed out of my comfort zone. It was really fun to write since this isn’t normally the type of thing that I write about. This was the result:

Ryan had called Nali and told her to meet him at club Syx. He had been distant the past few weeks. He was easily distracted by modeling shoots and multiple strip clubs. She decided she wouldn’t change. The dress she got rejected in was a little black number…chic and clean. The casting director announced she was too fat for the spread. She knew she was…she was already back up 115 pounds. She thought about calling the girls and telling them to meet her at Syx, but decided against it. If she invited them she would have to tell them that she didn’t get the job, their eyes would have brightened, hearing of the potential new jobs on the market. She tossed her phone in her purse and called a cab.

Syx was packed. Nali opened her phone to Ryan’s text. “In the back, velvet booth. Bring a Hennesy”. She floated through the crowd. Took her no time to order the drink. Although there was a line she used to blow the bartender. She saw Ryan soon after clearing through VIP’s security. He sat on the top of the booth, her best friend Ana between his legs. She smiled as she wound her waist against him. One hand on his pants leg, and the other on the table top. They were her pillars and without them she surely would have toppled over. Ryan’s eyes met Nali’s in the dim lighting. A smile broke across his face. Nali’s smile matched his although she wanted to cry. Ana threw her head back and caressed Ryan’s cheek as her hips sank further into his lap. She turned his face to hers and began kissing him. Ryan cupped her breasts and allowed his tongue to search her mouth. Nali stood there in numbness before knocking back the Hennessy and heading to the bathroom.

She walked to the stalls as fast as she could in her 5 inch heels. She closed the door behind her quickly and went to search her purse. She pulled the small bag out of the zipped compartment of her purse along with her mirror. She used her visa to form three lines on the toilet paper holder. She snorted them quickly…one after the other. Deep and quick, then headed to the dance floor. Her heart began to race and her face began to tingle. She spotted Rob and broke through the crowd to greet him. “I like your glow stick” she yelled. Rob wore eleven. Three around his neck and four around each wrist. He leaned into her and wiped right above her lip. “Been playing in the snow again?” She reached for his hand and pulled him into her. “Play with me” she smiled. “You’re gonna break my heart, woman” he said reaching into his pocket. “Reece, give me your drink” he said to one of the groupies. “Fuck off, what kind of fucking date is this?” He didn’t bother to humor her. Instead he reached over and grabbed her drink.

“Alright Nali, chase with this”. He looked her over, taking in her presence.

“What is it?” she asked, giving him her most innocent smile.

“It doesn’t matter!” he yelled leaning into her, trying not to lose his footing.

“What?” She yelled back.


Nali fell into laughter. “Okay!”

Rob slipped a pill into her hands and began to bounce to the beat falling through the speakers. Nali stepped on his foot and pulled his shirt towards her. “Open up!”

“I’ve already had one!!!”

“Do it anyway!!!”

“Are you trying to kill me?!” he laughed caressing her hips.

“Just fucking do it!!” When he stuck his tongue out, she placed the pill on the surface. As he placed his tongue back in his mouth she came in for a kiss. She scoped his tongue for the pill, and caught it between her teeth. Rob stood there dumb founded.

She downed her chaser with ease as he stood staring at her. When the bass dropped she felt the thud in her chest. She reached into her hair and took down the bun letting her hair fall past her shoulders. She began swaying her hips to the beat. The crowd began to take different form as they danced under the strobe lights. The room began to spin. She began to fist pump with the masses. The war cry of the city night crawlers. She dove into the trance. And licked at the fine grains she placed around her gums. The music moved with her as she traveled.

Nali found herself in a different space…she was back at home. Sitting on the porch at her grandparents ranch in Kentucky. “You know you’re already a star if you ask me” she could hear her grandfather say. “Ain’t no need in leavin’ us no way.  Ain’t got shit to prove.” His voice was deep and muffled. His beard got in the way of a few of his words from time to time…that and the tobacco he always chewed on. She missed his funeral the month before. She missed him.

“I’m following my dream granddaddy…” she said under her breath. She opened her eyes and found herself in the middle of the dance floor. Everyone was watching her. She hiked up her dress and her boy shorts added to her accidental performance. Rob wrapped his arms around her from behind and tried to pull her dress down. “You alright Nali…do you wanna go somewhere?” She stumbled as she turned to face him.

“To fuck?” she yelled over the beat.

“No…to talk!” he studied her face. She was sweating bullets and her eyes were glassed over.

“Nope!” she yelled and kissed him on the cheek. “I’d rather fuck!” she yelled before kissing his neck. He tasted of salt. She bit at him softly right above his glow sticks, which were the most beautiful thing she’d ever seen up close. The cologne he wore left an aftertaste, but she didn’t mind. She began feeling him rise against her. She grabbed for him, and raised her leg to his hip.

“Nali stop!” he held her to keep her from falling.

“Don’t be mad at me” she smiled. She smiled the smile she knew was his favorite smile.

“Who are you?!” He held her hips and pushed himself further into her grasp.

“I’m a star” she whispered between kisses on his neck.

“What?!” He yelled into the nape of her neck as she teased him.

“I’m Nali Monteray, and I’m a FUCKING STAR!” She yelled and let out a laugh. She felt her eyes watering once more but she shut them tightly. Then the songs changed. She felt the bass harden and speed up. She turned her back to Rob and began attempting a movement that was a cross between dancing and simply trying to stand. She swiped away the one tear that escaped her eyes. The room began moving in slow motion, yet the music was potent. “Ain’t got shit prove!” She yelled, although no one heard her in the crowd over the music. Rob held her close and made a game of the dancing tease. She welcomed him, anything, to keep the tears from falling.  She joined the voices chanting from every corner of Syx as the hook blared through the speakers:





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