Soooo…I have been wanting to write another blog post for the longest time now… but it seems that all of the changes and turns my life has taken over the past two months have resulted in one of the most serious cases of writers block I have ever encountered. I have been letting this block keep me from posting anything because I was worried it would prevent me from even communicating any of my thoughts clearly. However, since it is taking entirely too long to pass I thought I’d say screw it and do a simple honest post. These are 21 random truths about my life and self at this current moment.
1. My child’s father has entered his first relationship since we broke up last year. This isn’t that terrible since I was the first one to get into a relationship after we broke up but there are two things that make this pill specifically hard to swallow. I don’t know which one is worse. 1. This woman wants to be around my child and play family. 2. This woman has a beard. I feel so defeated.
2. Eckhart Tolle has made me feel like it is possible to live everyday with peace, regardless of what terrible and awesome things happen on the day-to-day bases.
3. By Friday, I will have spent 200 dollars on Uber car rides to and from work for this week. My car keeps overheating for a reason that my mechanic can not fathom.
4. On the days that meditation hasn’t frustrated me to tears, it has been the portal to the deepest relaxation I’ve ever experienced.
5. I want to lose 20 pounds.
6. I miss writing poetry and am likely to pick it up again.
7. This Windows Surface I just got does NOT replace my laptop that broke recently.
8. Celibacy is starting to look like a wonderful idea…or at least temporarily until I enter another worth while relationship.
9. Angus and Julia stone’s “Down the Way” album is one of the best things to happen to my ears in a long time.
10. I won’t be moving in December like I’ve been planning to do…because I have to buy a new car first. And I am very sad about that fact.
11. I am interested in someone who lives 40 minutes away from me and my broken car…he is also exactly my height.
12. I have seriously been avoiding practicing guitar…because I know my fingers will feel like they’ve been sent to hell the minute I attempt to play again.
13. I believe I am switching over from being a pepsi addict to a coffee addict.
14. Colonics are both gross and awesome.
15. I have a weird urge to be naked in nature…and perhaps be photographed while doing so.
16. I am learning about love by simply paying attention to my three year old son. There is honestly nothing more forgiving than a child’s heart.
17. Letting go feels like a lesson I’ll be learning for the next ten years before I finally have it down to a science.
18. Being a people pleaser is stupid…so I won’t be doing it anymore.
19. I am currently in the process of writing my bucket list.
20. I really fucking love my job.
21. I’m noticing the more time I spend by myself, the easier it becomes to give myself all the things I’ve been looking for in somebody else.
It’s good to be back =)